When I first joined Twitter back in 2016, I was amazed to get to know so many “like-minded” people, from all over the world, old and young, professionals and amateurs… a thriving and incredible community of people who love history and sharing their discoveries about their own ancestral research. I remember the thrill of attending my first family history conference, the excitement of being part of The Genealogy Show organising committee, of giving my first talks to audiences anxious to learn more about Spanish genealogy, of travelling to Paris in the early days of March 2020 to talk about researching ancestors in Spain (only to come down with COVID a few days later…) and, of course, the online conferences and spontaneous online chats that we were all forced to attend from the comfort of our own homes.

But that was then, and times have changed. Twitter was at the time a relatively safe, pleasant and peaceful environment. Alas, ever since Elon Musk took over the platform, trolls, spam, adverts and anonymous accounts have turned it into a cesspit of negativity and hatred that have inevitably chased away most of that genealogy community – and more.

For me, Twitter was a window to the outside world, where I could discuss, reach out, ask for help or simply share my own discoveries and preoccupations. It was an escape from my daily routine, and a refuge when I needed to talk to those like-minded people. Gradually, the replies and “feedback” began to disappear, to become less frequent; interactions but with the usual few became the norm (which is strange considering I still have just under 4,600 followers). It is clear that the platform has become redundant, like a damaged ship taking on water and I and a few others refuse to believe it will sink. As more and more people flock to alternative spaces to which I, alas, do not belong, I think the time has come for me to analyse whether I really do get from social media what it once gave me. And the simple answer is “no”.

Rather than following suit, as so many have done, by creating a profile elsewhere (be it on TikTok, BlueSky, Mastodon, Instagram…), I think the time has come for me to quit social media altogether. Even platforms not considered “social media”, like YouTube, are turning into arenas where comments become vitriolic, and those hateful shorts which started with TikTok and the like have now invaded almost every single app on my phone. No wonder I struggle to stay focused during a conversation; all I want to do is scroll, and scroll! A few days ago I was on a bus, listening to music on my phone, and I noticed that the young woman sitting in front of me spent the entire journey scrolling through images on one of her social media platforms, occasionally “liking” content but more often than not simply scrolling, and scrolling, and scrolling… Is this what I have become too? Is this how I spend all those hours of commuting, of sitting in front of a screen, of “relaxing” (supposedly) on the sofa trying not to think about my day job – which incidentally also involves looking at a screen? The irony is that as I type this, I have three screens in front of me – my laptop and my two phones; I would even have a fourth, were it not because my work laptop is already packed away.

The name social media is misleading. It should be called unsocial media. Yes, it should allow us to look out, to interact, to learn… That’s all very well, but it’s just a theory. What it actually does is give us all an easy excuse to waste time and avoid interacting in real life with other human beings – time which we could so easily spend doing other (not necessarily productive) things: sleeping, exercising, talking, reading, cleaning, playing (am I the only one who hasn’t finished any of the puzzles I bought during the pandemic?), researching, blogging, writing… “I don’t have time” has become a byword for “I’ve wasted all my time looking at my phone and now I have no energy for anything else”. Just take a look next time you’re at a bus stop, or the beach, or a station platform, and count how many people you see who are looking at their phones, probably scrolling, and scrolling, and scrolling…

For those of you wondering, I am not going to disappear. I still have a phone, and e-mail, and this blog (which I have also failed to update often). In fact, for the time being I shall retain my (underused) Facebook account to stay in touch with some friends and relatives. My WhatsApp probably has its days numbered too, as I intend on downgrading from an iPhone to a normal “dumbphone” when my current device kicks the bucket. As for my Twitter profile, it remains active – albeit locked – for the time being, but older tweets are coming down gradually, as are the number of accounts I’ll be following in future. I have no doubt that some accounts will unfollow me back, but it just doesn’t make sense keeping tabs on accounts I literally never interact with. And no offense to anyone, because my deepest hope is that one day I will again be part of a vibrant community in which we can feel safe and happy again.

For now, I will have to content myself with life offline.